Yearbook Quotes by Seth Rogen

Are you looking for Yearbook quotes? If yes, you have come to the right place.

We have compiled a list of quotes from Yearbook by Seth Rogen for you to read.


Bubby and Zaidy

“When you’re young, the bar for accomplishment is so low, no matter what you do, it’s pretty impressive. “

“My grandparents were simultaneously tough and eccentric. My grandmother was born while her family was in a caravan fleeing Poland as World War I was breaking out. She got to pick her own birthday when she was a little girl because her parents didn’t know her real one, which is some real Depression-era shit. “

“He loved being in the Navy. He talked about it like most guys talked about their fraternity years. They would hang out, smoke cigars, talk shit, all while floating in thousands of tons of metal around the war-torn Horn of Africa. “

“The hardest part about being Jewish is. . the grandparents. “

“It’s scary, but I think I’m ready. “

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“You give those sons of bitches hell. “

“Almost every Jewish parent’s house I’ve been to is like this. “

“It might be a narrow baseline of fans, but among Canadian sociology students, my parents were major celebrities. “

“What wasn’t common was my parents’ approach to treating it. Instead of putting me on medication, they brought me to a behavioral dietician, who had this crazy thought that what you eat affects how you feel and behave. “

“It was gone forever. But thank god a Red Robin had opened nearby. And thank god even more that Red Robin had the brilliant idea to have unlimited French fries on their menu. “

Sons of Commandment

“When Jewish people turn thirteen, they have Bar or Bat Mitzvahs, depending if you are a boy Jew or a girl Jew, respectively. “

“I wanted a girlfriend because I was scared shitless about going to high school, and I thought it would make me seem like less of a loser and therefore less likely to be eaten alive by older kids. “

“But in order to dance to a slow song, you first had to navigate a minefield of not slow songs. And you did NOT want to dance to a fast song with a girl. “

“I found an interview where Billy (first-name basis) said that he heard that it started in British frat houses in the late eighties, so how it made it to the Vancouver Jewish scene in the early nineties is beyond me. “

“I remember being at Julia Morinis’s Bat Mitzvah and noticing two other guys also standing on the side, watching with longing as the other kids had fun. I’m one of those guys, I thought. What a fucking bummer. “

The Karate Yid

“When I was about seven years old, I was with my mom at the Vancouver Jewish Community Center, where she was taking an Israeli dancing class. When the class was over, I noticed a karate class starting in the same space, and I knew a kid in it! He seemed so psyched. “

“Our motto was ‘Never give up. Always do your best. “

“It’s like if a Minotaur went to school with us. “

“The best way to deal with high school fights is to avoid them. “

“It was like the scary bar in Western movies—no matter how terrifying it was, people still always hung out there. I used to watch Westerns and be like, ‘Why are people at this bar. ! You know there’s gonna be a shoot-out. “

“We loved to play Edward Fortyhands, wherein everyone at the party had to duct-tape forty-ounce bottles of beer to each hand and not remove them until they were empty. “

“Our young bodies fueled by cocaine, we pushed the cruiser out of the snow and watched as it drove off, which is a very Canadian way for that story to have ended. “

“If they made commemorative stamps for amazing achievements in getting fucked up, Evan’s Arts County Fair rally would be one of them. “

“The blackberry bushes were trapping us, so there was nowhere to go but back the way we came, which would mean turning around and running for about a block and a half, which seemed like a bad idea. “

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Pornographic Entertainment

“Around that time, I was skateboarding with my friends one day, and we noticed that the convenience store nearby had a Playboy in the magazine rack. There was only one option, which was to steal that shit. A plan for a heist was hatched. “

“Before Internet porn became a thing, I basically engaged in ‘trading circles’ with friends, where we would all share whatever porn we had so everyone got more variety. A side effect was that you got a slightly too intimate look at your friends’ sexual proclivities and preferences. “

“When I was thirteen, I desperately wanted to try it. Yael Folk had tried it with her older brother, and I was so jealous. “


“All day, I was freaking out with nervous excitement. I really had no idea what to expect other than a burning throat, and that’s probably because being stoned from weed is actually really hard to explain. “

“Here. Glanzberg handed me a little water cup. Have some water. For your throat. “

“What are you guys doing here. “

“It was the perfect heist, in a world where the ideal version of a heist was sneaking into school to deposit illegal goods because you had previously been caught stealing a Smashing Pumpkins CD. “

“When they sat me down and told me what the cops had said, I jumped all over it. “

“In all honesty, would you get naked for the weed. “

“Nudists are weird. My friend went to a nudist colony and came back with a newfound appreciation for clothes. One thing he learned at the colony was that you have to carry around a towel to sit on. Why. “

“His balls looked like those old-timey brown leather baseballs. They seemed like you could strike a match off them. “

“When Billy Yang stepped up and said he knew these dudes from another school who wanted to unload sixty grams of weed, we were psyched. “

“Take this. Baumshtick swung the baseball bat around. Perfect. “

“In it, the Bad Lieutenant is always sampling cocaine, rubbing some on his gums to see if it does whatever cocaine is supposed to do when you rub it on your gums. It all of a sudden made me feel quite cool. “

“It all seemed so stupid. Why did I even bring these fucking things. “

“We should fucking run. “

“Hey, it’s Billy. I just wanted to call and say that I found the necklace. I gave it back to you guys. “

“Weed is my sunglasses. Weed is my shoes. I’m not quite cut out for this world, but weed makes it okay. “

The Mohel

“I wasn’t fantastic, but I was probably on the better end of the spectrum of the comics in Vancouver at the time. “

“I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure circumcision is a pretty important part of Judaism. Quote:Circumcision is a really important part of Judaism, and it’s something that I’m really good at. “

“At the end of the week, I called to tell him I had a good batch and asked how I should get the jokes to him. He told me he would pick me up after school on Monday and we’d go to a nearby coffee shop to go over them. “

“No, man. He’s gussying up those little-kid dicks. “

“It’s fine. I got five hundred bucks. Five hundred bucks that I would eventually use a portion of to buy two ounces of mushrooms, one ounce of which my parents would find under my bed and throw in the garbage, which would make me even sadder. “

An Evening at the Improv

“That didn’t make me feel as good as the money thing did. Not because I like money, although I do, as it makes everything easier, but because I had been paid to write. It was possible. It had happened, and I was determined to make it happen again. “

“It must have been really exciting for a lot of people when sumo wrestling was invented. Because one day you were just a fat guy in a diaper, and then, all of a sudden, BAM, you’re a sumo wrestler. Which is so much better. “

“When Superbad was gearing up to get made, me and Evan wanted to name all the characters after our actual friends from high school and, when possible, match them up to real stories that happened. Everyone cleared their name for use in the film—except Moira. “

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Firing Ray

“I was talking to Top the other day. . Anyway, Top was like, ‘I got this new bit with a megaphone made of cheese. “


“I didn’t know what the fuck a money belt was, and I was not at all psyched when I found out. “

“I felt like the monkey touching that obelisk in 2001. It was the future. “

“We were pretty psyched. Unfortunately, the show started slow. Very slow. “

“Before I even looked at Ben, I could feel his eyes boring through the side of my skull. I turned to him slowly. He was indeed staring back. “

“The day’s plan was deceptively simple:Go buy shrooms. Eat the shrooms. Go to the grocery store and buy stuff for a picnic. Go to the park and have a picnic as the shrooms kick in. “

“Although inelegant, the first two steps were complete. Time for the next item on the agenda: Go to the grocery store and buy stuff for a picnic. “

“I tried to calm Ben down. ‘Yeah, man, no worries. Let’s do this. “

“I tried my best to be fast. I really did. “

“I ran over to him. ‘Ben!,’ I said. He turned and looked at me. ‘Holy fuck! We gotta go!,’ he said. “

“We should leave this place. “

Drinking in L.A.

“After being on two failed TV shows, in 2001 I found myself in the same boat as a million other motherfuckers in L. A. “

“It was around this time that L. A. ’s nightlife was having a resurgence in the form of a few nightclubs that had I guess what you’d call hot nights. “

“I swear once I saw Owen Wilson at a club in a mink coat, so if that doesn’t encapsulate the time, I don’t know what does. “

“As a side note, auditioning is the fucking worst. “

“The big topic of conversation for the night became me trying to convince Will to write about his cancer experience and turn it into a movie. “

“Two great things came from the night: Will did write the movie, and I produced it and acted in it, and it became 50/50, which is definitely one of the best things we’ve ever made. “

“And then I thought I was farting, but I shat my pants, terribly. “

“If you thought the world was going to end in 2012, you were a bit of an odd duck. “

“What do you mean. , I asked. The world is going to end this year, right. Uh. . are you serious. Evan asked. Very, George said. What do you know about the San Andreas Fault. “

“I don’t doubt that once you’re super-duper-duper rich, you get access to all sorts of shit that people who are not super-duper-duper rich don’t get. “

“He does in fact have a fucking spaceship. “

“I sometimes think about what an uncomfortable day December 12, 2012, must have been at Skywalker Ranch. George and his friends all strapped into his spaceship, ready to feel the first tremors of the Big One as they hit the ignition button and launched into space. Was he happy when it didn’t happen. “

Angry Whopper

“Flying sucks. Flying early in the morning on no sleep sucks even more. And flying early in the morning on no sleep while incredibly hungover is something that so obviously fucking sucks, if you find yourself doing it, you really only have yourself to blame. “

“For something to be astounding for seventeen years, it must really be something. “

“The show was great, but for me, the better the magic I’m watching, the more I’m distracted by what a weirdo this person must be to have spent that much time alone in front of a mirror to get that great. “

“I see a look of terror sweep across Lauren’s face. “

“Still, at this moment, I don’t think Scott needs to or wants to or should get an ambulance. “

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“It seemed like our sensibilities were not exactly jiving, so we agreed to part ways with him as director, but he would still play Kato. “

“It was cold as fuck, but at the time I respected it. “

“Most movie studios would rather hire him with tattooed hair and fake lips than not hire him at all. “

“So, we went to her big table, but AS the appetizers were being put out, Nic suddenly got up and was like, ‘I just realized I gotta go. Sorry. Good to meet you. “

“Although the making of The Green Hornet was difficult, you kind of have to delude yourself into thinking you’re making a movie that people are going to like no matter what. And you get hopeful. “

“It’s hard to have too much of a takeaway other than we made something that people didn’t love, which happens. It’s nice when it doesn’t; it sucks when it does. “

Rhymin’ and Stealin’

“I approached with too much confidence. I didn’t have nearly the reverence I should have. I should have gone up to her like you would the queen or that giant bird creature in Harry Potter that you have to bow to before you can fly around on it. “

“I told my joke, which got a C+ laugh at best, and got the fuck out of there the second I could. “

“He put his head down and thought for a long moment. Then he looked over to one of his guys, narrowed his gaze…and said: ‘Bring in the hoes. “

“It’s a bummer to have to say no to people when you’re a fan. “

“When I was a kid, people who owned vans were creepy grossos who might kidnap children, and I’d prefer to keep it that way. “

“It’s generally strange, but this was WAYYYYY stranger. Even though there was plenty of space in the van, we were, like, knee to knee. He was inches from our faces at times. “

“It was nice that his idea evaporated as it was entering the atmosphere, like a little meteor. Because if it hadn’t, I definitely would have done it, and it would have been a glorious disaster. “


“After we were finished, the shit really hit the fan. “

“The last thing was the death. “

“Whenever there’s something that we fear might be watered down by the studio, we go WAYYYYY overboard on set so we have a lot of room to negotiate. “

“The next day, we were going to have the Los Angeles premiere. We’d settled on a decent middle ground on the head blowing up, but Lynton was getting cold feet. “

“I pretty much reverse engineer a lot of my career decisions knowing that one day I’ll be promoting my work, and I don’t wanna feel like I’m lying to anyone. I don’t wanna trick people into seeing my shit. “

“When I woke up, I realized maybe I should have made the meeting second or even third thing in the morning, because I was still incredibly high. I’d say about 64 percent high. “

“Meanwhile, the media kept delving more and more into the hacked emails and finding more and more stuff that they deemed publishable. “

“It was the year-end press conference; surely there’d be more important things to talk about. “

“It premiered on Google Play at the end of December. And that’s when even more reviews started to come out. In what is definitely the most revealing thing about me, the piece of all this that I still carry around is that the film was negatively received for the most part. “

“Once again, an inflated sense of self-importance ultimately made the fallout not as bad as I thought it would be. “

“I really liked him. I got along with him really well. I had a great time. I learned a lot. I had an interesting meeting. I think it’s a good thing. I think it’s a very good thing. “

“In early 2020, after there were rumors that Kim Jong Un had died following a botched surgery, he resurfaced, and Trump couldn’t have been more psyched. ‘I’m glad to see he’s back and well!’ he said. “


“It’s perfect! Let’s send him the script so he can read the scene in context, and we’ll see what he says. “

“What would you do if the president told his followers to kill a specific American citizen. I asked Jack Dorsey, the CEO of Twitter. “


“People hate Jews because we pass for non-Jews. We’re interlopers. Shhh…we could be anywhere. And we might look like white Christians, but we don’t believe what they believe, which just freaks the fuck out of people. “

“The ‘Weaver’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting with that one. It makes the whole name roll off the tongue. “

“Twitter was constantly getting attacked by these stupid white-supremacist assholes, which is annoying, but what really pissed me off was that a lot of them were verified by Twitter. “

“What being famous affords you is a high level of access. And not only are you meeting these famous people, which again, is strange in the first place, but you’re meeting them in incredibly odd situations. “

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“I was running late, and I had to pee very, very badly. “

“No. But if I ever start expounding on the virtues of clearing one’s Thetans, you know it’s bad and he’s blackmailing me. “


“With shrooms, you’re the passenger. With acid, you’re the driver. “

“I was particularly nervous because, a few weeks earlier, at Martin’s place, I had a wild fucking time on shrooms and was still a bit shell-shocked. “

“When you’re so high you’re calling your employer the next day to quit your job, you know you’ve done a lot of drugs. “

“You haven’t really done a drug till you’ve done a bit too much of it. “

“It’s actually the worst part about Burning Man to me, which makes it confusing in that it’s their titular selling point. It’d be like if an art gallery was bragging about the fact that they were gonna destroy all the art after the exhibition was over. “

Woz and the Magic Castle

“He [Wozniak] wanted one. So badly that he created one. His brilliant mind was able to take circuit boards that were a couple of feet across and rewire them with such artful efficiency that you could hold them in the palm of your hand. “

“The marketing genius, not shockingly, took the spotlight, the acclaim, and a lot of the money. “

“I loved Steve. He was a great guy. “

“After about five and a half hours of watching magic shows with the Wozniaks, we headed out of the club toward the valet. “

Jewish Summer Camp

“Jewish summer camp is somewhat mystifying, mostly because of the degree to which Jews just fucking love it. “

“It’s like leaving your dog in the care of a slightly bigger dog in a facility that is managed by other dogs of various sizes. “

“In ’95 we were supposed to hike for five hours to a lake where we would camp, drinking water from the lake itself. “

“It took us about thirty minutes to chop down the first tree, which was around the thickness of my arm. We hacked it into an eight-foot piece, which we could barely lift on our own. “

“Although unruly, the fire wall kept us warm until a series of fire trucks showed up and took us to a fire station, where they had cots and soup and those thick wool blankets you see in disaster movies. “

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