Best Sex Quotes I Wish I Had Read

Are you looking for Sex quotes? If yes, you have come to the right place.

We have compiled a list of quotes about Sex for you to read.

Enjoy!

Sex Quotes

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Rodney Dangerfield

 

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

Rita Rudner

 

Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

Joan Rivers

 

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.

Bette Reese

 

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe

 

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Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

Bill Cosby

 

Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.

James Baldwin

 

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

George Burns

 

I‘m always looking for meaningful one night stands.

Dudley Moore

 

Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

 

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.

Russell Brand

 

I’m now making a Jewish porno film. 10 percent sex, 90 percent guilt

Henny Youngman

 

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.

Richard Jeni

 

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Joan Rivers

 

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Rodney Dangerfield

 

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Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen

 

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

Brendan Behan

 

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

P. J. O’Rourke

 

The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.

Wernher von Braun

 

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Billy Crystal

 

If brevity is the soul of wit, your penis must be a riot.

Donna Gephart

 

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

George F Burns

 

Everything takes longer than it should, except sex.

Murphy’s Law

 

People ask me what I would most like for my eighty seventh birthday. I tell them: a paternity suit.

George Burns

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