Best Sex Quotes I Wish I Had Read

Are you looking for Sex quotes? If yes, you have come to the right place.

We have compiled a list of quotes about Sex for you to read.


Sex Quotes

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Rodney Dangerfield


To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

Rita Rudner


Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

Joan Rivers


If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.

Bette Reese


It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe


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Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

Bill Cosby


Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.

James Baldwin


Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

George Burns


I‘m always looking for meaningful one night stands.

Dudley Moore


Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld


I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.

Russell Brand


I’m now making a Jewish porno film. 10 percent sex, 90 percent guilt

Henny Youngman


Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.

Richard Jeni


My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Joan Rivers


What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Rodney Dangerfield


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Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen


The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

Brendan Behan


There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

P. J. O’Rourke


The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.

Wernher von Braun


Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Billy Crystal


If brevity is the soul of wit, your penis must be a riot.

Donna Gephart


Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

George F Burns


Everything takes longer than it should, except sex.

Murphy’s Law


People ask me what I would most like for my eighty seventh birthday. I tell them: a paternity suit.

George Burns

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