Best Mark Twain Quotes I Wish I Had Read

Are you looking for Mark Twain quotes? If yes, you have come to the right place.

We have compiled a list of Mark Twain quotes for you to read.


Mark Twain Quotes

It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.


Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.


The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.


It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. 


I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.


Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.


A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation


Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.


When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.


The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. 


It is easier to stay out than get out.


Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.


The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.


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To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.


The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.


When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. 


When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.


But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?


Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.


Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.


Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thought that is forever flowing through one’s head.


Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.


Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.


What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.


Buy land, they’re not making it anymore


When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.


It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.


The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.


The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.


Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.


There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.


We have the best government that money can buy.


Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.


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When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.


Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered — either by themselves or by others.


Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.


In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.


Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.


Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.


Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we”.


A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.


A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.


Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.


Do not put off till tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well.


Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.


The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.


It is curious – curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.


The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.

Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

Broad, wholesome, charitable views … cannot be acquired by vegetating in one’s little corner of the earth.

After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

A man’s private thought can never be a lie; what he thinks, is to him the truth, always.

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