We have reached the point of discussing a few confidence-building tips to help ensure that your personal growth and self-motivation continue to grow under a “green thumb.”
1). Anxiety is part of the cycle. This point cannot be stressed enough. You need a little anxiety to perform better. In small doses anxiety is beneficial, but when you let your fear get the better of you it becomes counterproductive. Use your stress, disappointment, or upset to be the push that makes you motivated and confident.
2). Certainty where you do not doubt your abilities or second guess yourself is imperative. We all have times when we doubt ourselves. You are going to learn ways to get around these feelings, but the ingredients for confidence are feeling certainty.
3). Pride is another way to feel confident. If you can take pride in the work, relationships, or aspects of your life then you can have confidence.
4). Safety is a must-have, where you need to feel you are safe in any situation. When you feel safe or comfortable, you can relax and express your abilities and emotions easier.
5). Confidence hinges on happiness. If you think only of the negatives, then you are not happy. If you constantly let worry and fears, along with negative attitudes plague you, happiness and thus confidence is not going to grow.
6). Love yourself. If you do not love who you are, then it is going to be hard for anyone else to see your worth.
Now that you know the ingredients to help your confidence grow let’s talk about how you can work to implement them for a more confident, and thus a more motivated you.
Tips for Self-Assurance
Feeling certain about your abilities can be something that comes and goes. Let’s go back to the example of the woman who accidentally mischarged a customer.
To reduce the anxiety about the situation, she began to think about her work life, and how often such a mistake had happened. When she thought about it, it had never happened before. It made it easy to dismiss and find certainty that she is capable, but she did not pay enough attention.
- Think about awards you have gotten in school or work.
- Consider a compliment a person gave you.
- Assess the reality of a situation. Another example is of our freelancer. She doubted the ability to write books and get them published. Knowing a story in her mind was on the lame side, more romance and mob-related mystery, she still decided to publish it online. Going through that and seeing that it gets read every once in a while, is enough to help assure her that someone out there wants to read her things. On the other side of things, you do need to consider your skills and be unbiased. It goes back to the limitations you might have. If you are sure about the level of skills, then being less than another or your struggles are readily accepted.
When you gain certainty and reduce your stress, you will feel safer in situations that test your skills and confidence. You will also learn how to focus on happiness versus the negatives.
Just as you think about your accomplishments, perhaps your decent grades or awards for certain things, you can find the love you have for yourself.
Until you love yourself, you are not going to be able to accept it from another person or even give it. Confidence comes from within and if you are hinging your “specialness” on other people in your life, it is time to change. Use the skills mentioned above to create a way that works for you to love yourself.
For the things you are not entirely happy with, work on small goals, reward the changes, push your motivation towards gaining more confidence, and remember it does take work. You will not change overnight.
Some morning you are going to wake up feeling better about yourself. You are going to have more energy to complete tasks, even if they are mundane.