Best Insults Quotes I Wish I Had Read

Are you looking for Insults quotes? If yes, you have come to the right place.

We have compiled a list of quotes about Insults for you to read.


Insults Quotes

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.

William Shakespeare


Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.



A modest little person, with much to be modest about.

Winston Churchill


He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

Abraham Lincoln


He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.

Robert Redford


They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.

Thomas Brackett Reed


He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

Forrest Tucker


She is the original good time that was had by all.

Bette Davis


I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Gena Showalter


I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Groucho Marx


Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Billy Madison


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I like half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!

J.R.R. Tolkien


He has no equal. Everyone else is better.

Jason Q.


You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel.

Joe Pesci (Simon B. Wilder)


He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

H. Munro


I could dance with you until the cows come home… on second thoughts, I’ll dance with the cows and you go home.

Groucho Marx


Has it ever occurred to you that there might be a difference between having an open mind and having holes in one’s head?

Richard Schultz


Where’s your girlfriend? Outside grazing, I presume.

Jo Brand


Don’t be humble, you’re not that great.

Golda Meir


Ian Botham is in no way inhibited by a capacity to over-intellectualise.

Frances Edmonds


Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend – if you have one.

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill


Impossible to be present for the first performance.

Will attend second – if there is one.

Churchill’s reply


Wisdom eventually comes to all of us. Someday it might even be your turn.

David & Leigh Eddings


Shaw writes plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve.

George Jean Nathan


Ah, Mozart. He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.

Victor Borge


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She’s so ugly, the tide wouldn’t take her out.

Martin Kaye


You wouldn’t be intelligent enough to understand anything that I would be stupid enough to tell you anyways.

Bill Merrill


If men’s minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.

G. Wodehouse


Dahling, when God put teeth in your mouth, he ruined a perfectly good arsehole.

Neil Gaiman


From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Groucho Marx


The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

George Bernard Shaw


He’s a real gentleman. I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it.

Shirley Maclaine


Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Tanya Bianco


God made man in his own image, and it would be a sad look out for Christians throughout the globe if God looked anything like you!



I don’t know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don’t know why.

Mark Twain


She’s the sort of woman who lives for others – you can tell them by their hunted expression.

CS Lewis


What’s on your mind if you will forgive the overstatement.

Fred Allen


If your IQ was any lower, we would have to water you.

Anne Robinson


Dear Randolph, utterly unspoiled by failure.

Noel Coward


I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Monty Python


I’ve met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you – you’re 20 minutes.

Jan Sterling


I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill


He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Winston Churchill 

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