How To Discover Who You Are

Motivation comes from confidence, but how do we develop confidence and keep it as adults? What if we have someone who constantly tells us how disappointed they are in us, how worthless we are or other horrible things? It is hard to build confidence let alone keep it in adulthood.

People who have a lot of confidence understand that it comes from within, just as much as it comes from other people and circumstances. The key is to discover who you are without the influences of others. Many would refer to this as independent strength. Some are born with the innate ability to be strong without the influence of others.

It is hard for these individuals to imagine what it would be like to not have the inner strength to be independent of what others think of them.

What a person with confidence and inner strength would tell you—is you need to know who you are and be comfortable with your strengths and limitations.

An example of a person who can overcome: a young woman was the fifth to be born, in a family of five daughters, total. She was not taught to cook. She was told she was too stupid to do anything but cut hair. 

Her only choice after high school was to go to beauty school and become a cosmetologist. Her entire life she worried about money because her parents did not have much. With a lack of

confidence, but a kind heart, this person became a cosmetologist, joined her husband in construction, worked retail, and eventually went to college to become a certified nursing assistant and medication aid.

At times she still lacks confidence and panics when there is not enough money. However, through finding a man who treated her as an equal, who told her she didn’t need his permission to take classes or have fun, she was able to reach new heights and be comfortable with who she is as a mom, wife, and person.

You have the ability to use your brain to rewrite how you think about yourself. Furthermore, you can work on your confidence and start ignoring the inner and outer voices that damage your motivation and viewpoint.

Figuring Out Who You Are

It is not fun to take the gloves off and throw down, okay, so enough of the boxing metaphors that are better suited for men! The point is you need to analyze yourself in an unbiased manner, which is one of the hardest things you will ever do.

1). Have you ever lived alone?

2). Have you lived more than 1,000 miles from your parents?

3). Was there a time you knew you could call your parents, but they would be unable to help you, immediately or at all?

4). Do you view yourself in positive or negative words?

5). Do you think you have no irritating or limiting qualities?

6). Have you ever been fired?

7). Have you ever been rewarded at work?

8). How long do you hold jobs?

9). How often do you talk to your friends?

10). Do you feel uncomfortable if you are alone for a few hours or worse several days?

11). Do you go out more than you stay home to avoid dealing with loneliness or being alone?

The questions could go on. The point is to use these eleven questions to start the self-reflection. You need to be honest. If you cannot think about the answers, consider finding an online personality test to help you discover your personal attributes and where you may fall short.

For example, a person finds many people at work regarding her to be brilliant with money and the math it entails. But the person thinks the opposite when it comes to math. Yes, when counting and reconciling money she is capable; however, counting back change using the old-fashioned method is tough. 

She considers it to be just as hard as algebra and calculus with all those useless x + y =? She is also aware that her introversion and social anxiety make it harder for her to relate to customers.

Our example is what you want to gain when you look at yourself—the ability to accept any limitations you have—to rise to the challenges. Mistakes happen, which is another lesson to learn. 

The same person accidentally mischarged a customer, charging too little and had to call the person to charge the correct amount. It could have been a devastating situation, riddled with guilt and negative thoughts, but the person assessed how often such a mistake had happened to her. 

It never had before. In twenty-plus years of working retail, she had never charged a customer too little or too much.

The lesson in this article if you are the one who decides what you think and feel; therefore, you are the only one who can truly assess who you are with positive thoughts. Seeking an independent, unbiased opinion may be helpful, especially, if you find you struggle to analyze yourself in an unbiased manner.

But, try it first. List your attributes. List the things you feel you can do better.

Consider what you have tried, but found no success with, such as something you love, but don’t have the skills to match professionals.

As an example, a pastry chef bakes amazing pies, but a home pie might be sloppy with the crust, the apples or blueberries might be runny, but at least it tastes great despite the interesting presentation. 

Another person might sew amazingly but lack the ability to leave their emotions at home.

Hundreds of examples can be used to discuss how to look at yourself in comparison to others as a way to find your strengths or weaknesses. It is a starting point and not meant to be the complete method.

The idea is to get to a point where you can admit you are not as great at something as you would like to be or as someone else, and it is okay because you are having fun when you are doing the task.

Unbiased Opinions

Not everyone can step back and be hyper-rational when they assess who they are. One’s upbringing can determine your ability to do such a thing. You can train yourself to do this though.

  • Think about the quality or limitation you have.
  • Why do you think it is positive or negative?
  • From your upbringing, what may influence your viewpoint?
  • What educational knowledge might be affecting how you perceive things?
  • What influences might come from your parents versus friends you have met?
  • Take a character from TV, a book, or a movie and analyze the character.

What perceptions do you have, how do you relate, now check online, and see what the author says about the character or what other opinions exist.

Are there things in your assessment that match and others that don’t, where you might have a different opinion due to upbringing or cultural assumptions based on where you live?

These are just a few of the techniques you can use to help gain a new perspective and learn how your thoughts and actions may create a biased opinion until you determine where they are coming from. Some individuals are naturally better at looking at two opinions and assessing why each person has the views they do, and where the truth is.

These techniques are going to help you find confidence and motivation because they are forcing you to assess your perceptions and the areas of your life where you started to lose confidence or motivation, and now you can work towards correcting it. They don’t work for everyone but have been quite successful for those who are open to exploring who they are and learning how to become more confident and motivated.

Leave a Comment

COVID-19 Took My Waiter Job, Then I Made 5-Figures From Home...Discover How I Did It!